2 days of food left!

I start the HMR, medically supervised liquid fast on August 30. The program I'm participating in is called "Healthfast" through the Concord Hospital, in Concord NH.

I have 2 days of food left until I'm on liquids for awhile. Possibly 6 months or more!

I gave it a dry run last week so that I could wrap my head around what I would be doing. I've been nervous that I would be hungry, or craving food while I'm in the program. I have to say that I wasn't. It wasn't as difficult as I had imagined. I drank clear coffee in the morning. No cream, no sugar. BLACK! That is hard as I've always drowned out the coffee taste with french vanilla cream and splenda. I'm not sure if I will be allowed to drink coffee at all.

The shakes are dreadful if you don't blend them up. Putting the powder in the water and attempting to "stir" it in is a nightmare. I used the the magic bullet and it was nice and creamy and so much better. I even blended in a little coffee in the morning shake. Not sure if that will be allowed or not..but it was good. After my dry run I didn't want to go back to eating like a pig. I wanted to stick with it, but I'm also nervous that I won't weigh in enough when I go for the induction to the program tomorrow afternoon. I'm borderline as is. You must have a BMI of 34 or higher. Mine is 34.

I also had a little wake up call after having my blood drawn last week. I'm on a medication called "claravis" for acne. Yup, I'm a fattie and I have acne. I have to have my blood drawn once a month to check a bunch of different thing. After 3 previous draws my levels had been drawn. I finally go up to my permanent dose of claravis and my triglicerides go way up. In the beginning the Doctor told me that this medicine might uncover underlying issues. That it may bring issues that are looming to the fore front. Being obese it seems a natural that my tris would show up. So, if I don't bring my tris down by my next draw they will lower my meds. I don't want that to happen!! My skin is looking great! I'm hoping with the weightloss that it will start to look even better.

So, I have a little motivation to also lose the weight. I'm ready. After my high tris I have been much more conscious of what I put into my mouth. It is hard to imagine extra fat being pumped through my blood stream and into my heart and veins. I'm doing that to myself. It turns my stomach.

I'm in Vegas right now! Surrounded by delicous food everywhere I turn. It has been difficult to turn the other cheek. I haven't been successful a couple of times. But I didn't feel really good after I ate that high fat crap. I had the buffet at the Rio yesterday. I felt like crap all day afterwards. Not worth it. I had fruit and soup from whole foods last night for dinner. My body thanked me for that and I slept great last night without taking sleeping meds.

I'm anxious to get home. I miss my family. It has been really nice to sleep in this gorgeous bed and take tubs in the gigantic tub. I'm ready to get home to my grubby little house and business. My crazy little kiddos and my husband. I'm ready to start the next chapter in my life. I'm really ready. I know it will not be easy. I know that eating is not the only problem that I have. I stuff myself for other reasons and I'm ready to figure out why. I want to get healthy. I'm not healthy.

Two Days left till I start my transformation. I'm excited and nervous. I have tried so many different diets and failed. I don't want to fail again.

Tomorrow night I meet with the three amigos. I'll report in after that.