I've lost track.....
I've been in transition for over a week now. I haven't lost weight but I have maintained. I'm doing the shakes all day and eating a meal at night. I have been naughty at meal times. Which, is why I'm probably staying the same weight. I'm ok with that right now.
Ran 9 miles today! Felt like a million bucks.
How are you all doing out there? I could use some inspiration to get over the hump!!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Day 77 - Ready to Transition
I'm so ready. Overly ready to transition. I want to eat eat eat food. I cheated and had some pickels. I haven't lost since last week. I have maintained. Which is good. I'm busted my ass in exercise to try and compensate for the eating fest I've been on. Ok..so I've eaten more than pickels. Tonight I had a salad and a bowl of shrimp wonton soup. A very small bit of calories...and I ate a few pieces of the meatballs I put into the spagetti dinner I made my family. I just want to be eating again.
I feel really strong in my body though. At yoga tonight I felt very strong. Yesterday I ran 6.5 miles and it was a hard run. I didn't feel achy or tired after. Maybe I'm finally coming into my exercise after 77 days of dieting?
So at this current place in time...I'm doing shakes all day except for my evening meal. I could live like this for awhile. I'm in a holding pattern with my weight as well. Not sure why...plateau perhaps. I mean, 600 calories during the day in shakes and then maybe 400 at night is still not alot. I should still be losing.
I'm in a good place mentally even though I've cheated. I thought the guilt would be a lot stronger, but its not. I believe I'm ready for the next stage of my transition. I need to learn how to eat food again and lose weight. I have 20+ to go. I've come a long way baby!! Starting at 228 pounds. Seems like forever ago. I'm not going back. I'm A FINE WINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel really strong in my body though. At yoga tonight I felt very strong. Yesterday I ran 6.5 miles and it was a hard run. I didn't feel achy or tired after. Maybe I'm finally coming into my exercise after 77 days of dieting?
So at this current place in time...I'm doing shakes all day except for my evening meal. I could live like this for awhile. I'm in a holding pattern with my weight as well. Not sure why...plateau perhaps. I mean, 600 calories during the day in shakes and then maybe 400 at night is still not alot. I should still be losing.
I'm in a good place mentally even though I've cheated. I thought the guilt would be a lot stronger, but its not. I believe I'm ready for the next stage of my transition. I need to learn how to eat food again and lose weight. I have 20+ to go. I've come a long way baby!! Starting at 228 pounds. Seems like forever ago. I'm not going back. I'm A FINE WINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Day 69 - Feeling Fine!
It was just a tough couple of days. I'm back on track. It wasn't easy to push myself through that difficult time. But it did come to an end. I've run 3 days in a row. I feel great again. The scale is starting to move again which is always an incentive.
At the end of this month I will start to transition. I will transition when I have 20 pounds left to lose until I hit my goal. This is important because I need to learn how to lose while eating food. I'm starting to wrap my head around this. 26 days to go. I've got this!
At the end of this month I will start to transition. I will transition when I have 20 pounds left to lose until I hit my goal. This is important because I need to learn how to lose while eating food. I'm starting to wrap my head around this. 26 days to go. I've got this!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Day 67 - Treading Water
Ok...I confess I'm getting tired of this. I ate 6 carrots out of the pot roast the other day. I cannot give up! I cannot sabatoge myself. IT IS REALLY HARD RIGHT NOW. I feel good, I look in the mirror and I like what I see. Everyone is telling me how thin I am....and I just want to eat. I want to eat like a normal person.
This too shall pass. I know it will pass. It is a hurdle that has crept up in my way and I will leap over it. Right? I always find a way to leap over these hurdles. Ugh. Yes, the overly enthusiastic, exercising crazy women is lying face down on the floor. I'm beat. Spent. We all reach these walls. Will I get over it and move on? Or will I sneak out to the fridge tonight and eat all the alfredo while everyone is sleeping? Where is my self-control?
I did go running this morning. First time in 7 days. It was a strange out of body experience. I have got to get it together.....
This too shall pass. I know it will pass. It is a hurdle that has crept up in my way and I will leap over it. Right? I always find a way to leap over these hurdles. Ugh. Yes, the overly enthusiastic, exercising crazy women is lying face down on the floor. I'm beat. Spent. We all reach these walls. Will I get over it and move on? Or will I sneak out to the fridge tonight and eat all the alfredo while everyone is sleeping? Where is my self-control?
I did go running this morning. First time in 7 days. It was a strange out of body experience. I have got to get it together.....
Friday, October 1, 2010
Day 65 - New Month - New Me
Its October. Over here on the East Coast the leaves are changing. The air is cool and crisp. The mornings and evenings are darker. The apples are heavy on the trees. It is my favorite time of year. The hint of family gatherings, vacations, snow forts, and christmas lights lingers on the horizon. It is so great to be alive isn't it?
STRESS galore this week. We moved our printing company this past weekend only to have to move it AGAIN tomorrow. I keep closing my eyes and trying to do that belly breathing we learned in class the other day. But, fortunately for me stress is not an eating trigger.
I've seriously let my exercise slide. Which is a trigger for me. Failure is a trigger for me. I'm an all or nothing sort of person. If I cheat in my mind I have failed and the food eating onslaught begins. If I stop exercising, I have failed and sloth like behavior gets control over my ass and parks it. I'm fighting that right now. I did go to yoga the other night and I felt stronger than I thought I would. I hadn't lost anything at all. I was going to get up and run today but I didn't. I slept in. I feel guilt for letting myself down. Maybe I can steal away for an hour today and run in my new neighborhood. Send all of the exercise fairies my way......I need to get over this feeling of failure and be ok with a little down time. Cause I know its ok....but I'm a task master and especially hard on myself. I haven't failed I've wandered for a bit with a move and a head cold.
Weigh in last night...down 4 lbs. Even without the "structured exercise." My PA calories this week were only 1500. I typically have 3600 or more. I did move this past weekend and I'm sure that burned some serious calories.
My size 14's are starting to get loose and the nurse in my program told me last night that I needed to go bra shopping. I have lost 6 inches around my chest. 7 inches on my wasit and 11 on my hips. I haven't gotten myself any new clothes except for yoga pants and shirts and couple of sports bras.
I've discovered a love for cooking. I have never ever liked cooking at all. I'm thinking that because its a connection with food. I get to hold it, smell it, and try to make something yummy for my family. I really enjoy putting together all the ingrediants and then serving them and watching them eat it. I wonder if this new found fascination will last once I start to transition.
I also like to keep busy. No downtime for me. Boredom is my biggest trigger. I've got to plan for downtimes. Find a hobby. I've never had a hobby. I've always had a hard time filling out those questions on social networking sites about what I like to do. I typically put down something lame like reading. I have never had something that I do to enjoy myself. Maybe gardening in the spring? What the hell else can I do? I'm not a crafter. I don't have the patience for sewing or knitting or anything like that. What can I do once I've cleaned my house a hundred times and cooked dinner? I've got to find something.
Kids to the bus!! Yikes!
STRESS galore this week. We moved our printing company this past weekend only to have to move it AGAIN tomorrow. I keep closing my eyes and trying to do that belly breathing we learned in class the other day. But, fortunately for me stress is not an eating trigger.
I've seriously let my exercise slide. Which is a trigger for me. Failure is a trigger for me. I'm an all or nothing sort of person. If I cheat in my mind I have failed and the food eating onslaught begins. If I stop exercising, I have failed and sloth like behavior gets control over my ass and parks it. I'm fighting that right now. I did go to yoga the other night and I felt stronger than I thought I would. I hadn't lost anything at all. I was going to get up and run today but I didn't. I slept in. I feel guilt for letting myself down. Maybe I can steal away for an hour today and run in my new neighborhood. Send all of the exercise fairies my way......I need to get over this feeling of failure and be ok with a little down time. Cause I know its ok....but I'm a task master and especially hard on myself. I haven't failed I've wandered for a bit with a move and a head cold.
Weigh in last night...down 4 lbs. Even without the "structured exercise." My PA calories this week were only 1500. I typically have 3600 or more. I did move this past weekend and I'm sure that burned some serious calories.
My size 14's are starting to get loose and the nurse in my program told me last night that I needed to go bra shopping. I have lost 6 inches around my chest. 7 inches on my wasit and 11 on my hips. I haven't gotten myself any new clothes except for yoga pants and shirts and couple of sports bras.
I've discovered a love for cooking. I have never ever liked cooking at all. I'm thinking that because its a connection with food. I get to hold it, smell it, and try to make something yummy for my family. I really enjoy putting together all the ingrediants and then serving them and watching them eat it. I wonder if this new found fascination will last once I start to transition.
I also like to keep busy. No downtime for me. Boredom is my biggest trigger. I've got to plan for downtimes. Find a hobby. I've never had a hobby. I've always had a hard time filling out those questions on social networking sites about what I like to do. I typically put down something lame like reading. I have never had something that I do to enjoy myself. Maybe gardening in the spring? What the hell else can I do? I'm not a crafter. I don't have the patience for sewing or knitting or anything like that. What can I do once I've cleaned my house a hundred times and cooked dinner? I've got to find something.
Kids to the bus!! Yikes!
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