Its October. Over here on the East Coast the leaves are changing. The air is cool and crisp. The mornings and evenings are darker. The apples are heavy on the trees. It is my favorite time of year. The hint of family gatherings, vacations, snow forts, and christmas lights lingers on the horizon. It is so great to be alive isn't it?
STRESS galore this week. We moved our printing company this past weekend only to have to move it AGAIN tomorrow. I keep closing my eyes and trying to do that belly breathing we learned in class the other day. But, fortunately for me stress is not an eating trigger.
I've seriously let my exercise slide. Which is a trigger for me. Failure is a trigger for me. I'm an all or nothing sort of person. If I cheat in my mind I have failed and the food eating onslaught begins. If I stop exercising, I have failed and sloth like behavior gets control over my ass and parks it. I'm fighting that right now. I did go to yoga the other night and I felt stronger than I thought I would. I hadn't lost anything at all. I was going to get up and run today but I didn't. I slept in. I feel guilt for letting myself down. Maybe I can steal away for an hour today and run in my new neighborhood. Send all of the exercise fairies my way......I need to get over this feeling of failure and be ok with a little down time. Cause I know its ok....but I'm a task master and especially hard on myself. I haven't failed I've wandered for a bit with a move and a head cold.
Weigh in last night...down 4 lbs. Even without the "structured exercise." My PA calories this week were only 1500. I typically have 3600 or more. I did move this past weekend and I'm sure that burned some serious calories.
My size 14's are starting to get loose and the nurse in my program told me last night that I needed to go bra shopping. I have lost 6 inches around my chest. 7 inches on my wasit and 11 on my hips. I haven't gotten myself any new clothes except for yoga pants and shirts and couple of sports bras.
I've discovered a love for cooking. I have never ever liked cooking at all. I'm thinking that because its a connection with food. I get to hold it, smell it, and try to make something yummy for my family. I really enjoy putting together all the ingrediants and then serving them and watching them eat it. I wonder if this new found fascination will last once I start to transition.
I also like to keep busy. No downtime for me. Boredom is my biggest trigger. I've got to plan for downtimes. Find a hobby. I've never had a hobby. I've always had a hard time filling out those questions on social networking sites about what I like to do. I typically put down something lame like reading. I have never had something that I do to enjoy myself. Maybe gardening in the spring? What the hell else can I do? I'm not a crafter. I don't have the patience for sewing or knitting or anything like that. What can I do once I've cleaned my house a hundred times and cooked dinner? I've got to find something.
Kids to the bus!! Yikes!
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