I'm reading Geneen Ross "Women, Food and God." I have to tell you it has been hard for me to get through. A lot of my friends have LOVED It and gone crazy over it. I'm not sure she is describing me in this book.
Right now I'm reading about "The Voice." This awful demeaning voice in your head that tries to sabotage anything great. I'm not sure about this voice phenomenon. I do talk to myself. I have an inner dialogue all the time. I just did for a second when I lifted up my coffee cup and started to put it down and my voice said, "No, just one more sip." So I drank another sip. Not sure I really believe that it is some sort of bad guy living in my brain or a bunch of mean relatives and horrible people that I have encountered throughout my life who put me down. I'm not sure anyone who was mean to me was that important that I carry their messages around with me forever. I'm having a hard time buying it. I do not think I have a multiple personality. Good cop bad cop living in my head. I think I fight off my inner self wanting to be lazy and just sit around doing nothing...but I cannot imagine a "voice" that is a manifestation of all things bad from my past ruling my life. Sorry.....not a split personality. I'm not looking to blame my issues on some inner voice. It is me folks! When my legs where fat they were fat. My "voice" was not wrong. When I was being lazy I was being lazy. My voice was not wrong! Just me seeing the truth and trying to get me motivated to do something about it. Why do all of these self-help books have to try and dig out these weird idiosyncrasies? Why does it have to be some big psychological struggle? Some excavation of the past? Who can I point the finger at now? Which one of my family members did me wrong? So wrong that you continue to hang out in my brain and wreak havoc on my daily activities? Good grief. I have a little bit more control over myself than that. I'm in control, not the ghosts of Christmas past. Oy!
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