Down to 198! 7 lbs in 4 days. Now you know that is just water weight and that will slow down significantly. But man oh man is it rewarding! When I did it the first time, the least I lost was 3.6 in one week.
Yesterday was the first time I had a hard time getting in all my shakes. I missed one. If your mind is in the right place, and mine is, this is not that hard. It is mind over matter. It really really is.
My boyfriend started doing this with me on the same day. He did great for two days and then fell off the wagon. You have GOT to be mentally prepared for this test of mental ability. The hunger is not intense. It is the triggers that are difficult. I haven't yet had to deal with any triggers. I'm still on the high of starting this all over again and making it 4 days. If you can get a week under your belt, there is no turning back after that.
This weekend I will go up to my family camp, and that is hard. When you are not eating you find how much social activities are geared towards eating.
I have got to figure out what I am going to do when I am done with the HMR-800 liquid shake fast. I have to make a plan. I have to learn how to feed myself without eating crap. I tend to eat in a hurry. I am not a cook..I can do it, but I don't enjoy it. I like to eat and move on to other things. Cooking & eating to me is a necessity not something I do as a hobby or enjoyment.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Day Two - Back in the saddle
My starting weight was 205. Which means I have gained 35lbs back! HOLY CRAP. I guess I'm glad that I have started to get it under control before I gained it all back. I got on the scale yesterday and cried. I worked so hard to achieve 170 lbs on the shakes three years ago. I seriously kept it off for a good two years. Then last year from Jan - May I lost another 15 lbs training for tough mudder. I was down to 155 lbs. HOW, HOW, HOW did I let myself go? WHY, WHY, WHY? I'm heartbroken but not defeated.
Today I got on the scale and I'm 201.2. First full day of shakes. The typical big weight loss after day 1 on the program. I ran 3.75 miles yesterday in 44 minutes. Not fast, in fact that is a slow 12 minute mile. But, I did it. My Runtastic Ap says that is 606 calories. Today...it is raining. Hard. I can go running in the rain or I can make an excuse. I don't have room for anymore excuses. I only have room for results. Let's make this happen.
I have a 10K on August 3rd. I have my brother's wedding on August 10th. Here are a few of my goals.
#1 - To finish the 5K in under 1 hr.
#2 - To weigh 190 lbs by August 10th.
Ambitious yes, but we must have goals. Small little goals each week so that we have something more to focus on than the over-whelming big picture. That is why weight watchers and most weight loss programs focus on the 10% of your body weight goal. Extreme weight loss makeover show on TV does 10% in 30 days! My goal would be to lose 20.5 lbs in 30 days. So on August 20th, I should weigh 185 lbs. I am secretly hoping for 180. I've got this. The 30 days is coming no matter what I do. I can look better when that 30 days comes or I can look the same. I am choosing to look different.
See you tomorrow. I have a very wet 3.75 miles to slowly run.
Today I got on the scale and I'm 201.2. First full day of shakes. The typical big weight loss after day 1 on the program. I ran 3.75 miles yesterday in 44 minutes. Not fast, in fact that is a slow 12 minute mile. But, I did it. My Runtastic Ap says that is 606 calories. Today...it is raining. Hard. I can go running in the rain or I can make an excuse. I don't have room for anymore excuses. I only have room for results. Let's make this happen.
I have a 10K on August 3rd. I have my brother's wedding on August 10th. Here are a few of my goals.
#1 - To finish the 5K in under 1 hr.
#2 - To weigh 190 lbs by August 10th.
Ambitious yes, but we must have goals. Small little goals each week so that we have something more to focus on than the over-whelming big picture. That is why weight watchers and most weight loss programs focus on the 10% of your body weight goal. Extreme weight loss makeover show on TV does 10% in 30 days! My goal would be to lose 20.5 lbs in 30 days. So on August 20th, I should weigh 185 lbs. I am secretly hoping for 180. I've got this. The 30 days is coming no matter what I do. I can look better when that 30 days comes or I can look the same. I am choosing to look different.
See you tomorrow. I have a very wet 3.75 miles to slowly run.
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Fallen...weight gain, depression and regrouping.
First of all, I am sorry. I am sorry that I've been away so long. I am also sorry, to myself mostly, that I have allowed the weight to come back on. Not all of it. I don't know actually how much I've actually gained back. I refuse to get on a scale for fear of falling into a great big depression. I have been struggling with what to do to regain control.
Let's fall backwards to November, 2010..when I stopped blogging. I started going through a divorce. The divorce was final in March of 2011. Life was in full color again. I was beautiful again. People noticed me again. My husband failed to notice me...and well, someone else did. That is the shitty truth. I am not proud of that. I do feel that his lack of attention and everything else for that matter was a slow painful death in the end. My weight loss just put the whole process on high speed. To this day we remain friends and business partners. It wasn't messy at all. The guilt that remains is the hardship on my children. They are with me one week and with him the next. They are exceptional little troopers and put their bravest faces on and their best feet forward. I love my little people who I couldn't image taking it better than they have.
My life has come full circle. My ex-husband and I had bought a home together in the vey beginning that we had envisioned being an investment property that we would hand down to one of our children. We had lived in it when we had our first child and were in the beginning stages of marriage. As we moved on in life we rented it out. I was awarded this gigantic eye sore in the divorce. I ignored it since the minute it became all mine. I didn't want to deal with it. I have had an about face and have come back to live in it, fix it up and flip it. Sadly, I look in the old mirrors that I used to look into and see a woman that looks pretty much the same as I did when I left. The struggle and the weight gain that I had achieved somehow missing in between years. It is heart-breaking to me.
I need to hit the restart button. Again. I am frustrated, struggling, angry with myself. I have started the shake diet only to fail within a couple of days. How in the hell did I do this last time? Where did I find the motivation? Where did I find the mental strength to get through this? Where have I gone? What did I do? Arrrgggghhhhhhh!!! DAMMIT!!
Then, I found my old blog. This blog. I had seriously forgotten about it. I read through it, cried..a lot. Read your comments and cursed myself for leaving you all. Cursed myself for allowing my hard work to just go to hell. Then I found it. I found the motivation in a comment that one of you left for me. "It is yours to have." One of you responded to a blog entry and you quoted me. I had said something worth while...something that had made the slightest difference in your struggle, your fight to drop the weight. This is mine to have. Again. If I want it bad enough, and I do.
So today, I hit the slopes of one of my favorite mountains. Gunstock Mountain Ski Resort. I am going to do a little bit of inner soul-searching. Find the inner demon that has come back to haunt me and leave it somewhere out there on the trail. I'm going to start again tomorrow. How many of you are with me? Will you go on this journey with me again? Tomorrow morning I will step on the scale for the first time in a year and face reality. I will drive to Concord tomorrow and buy shakes and start again.
I know what some of my obstacles are. However, many of them are unknown. I have more going for me this time, I think. I have been running. I can run a 5k without stopping. One of the obstacles is that I am in a new relationship and we enjoy eating & drinking together. He has been a great big sabatoger for me. Funny thing is, that when I met him he was motivation to get into the mountains again. He was motivation to eat healthy and to be healthy. It will be interesting to see what happens when I cut out the eating and drinking and take a hard close look at what remains. When you clean the system out so much of what you have been hiding or refusing to see comes to the surface...hence the divorce I went through last time.
So, tomorrow. Tomorrow it all begins again. I'm ready, but I will need you again. Weigh in tomorrow...oye. REALITY!
Let's fall backwards to November, 2010..when I stopped blogging. I started going through a divorce. The divorce was final in March of 2011. Life was in full color again. I was beautiful again. People noticed me again. My husband failed to notice me...and well, someone else did. That is the shitty truth. I am not proud of that. I do feel that his lack of attention and everything else for that matter was a slow painful death in the end. My weight loss just put the whole process on high speed. To this day we remain friends and business partners. It wasn't messy at all. The guilt that remains is the hardship on my children. They are with me one week and with him the next. They are exceptional little troopers and put their bravest faces on and their best feet forward. I love my little people who I couldn't image taking it better than they have.
My life has come full circle. My ex-husband and I had bought a home together in the vey beginning that we had envisioned being an investment property that we would hand down to one of our children. We had lived in it when we had our first child and were in the beginning stages of marriage. As we moved on in life we rented it out. I was awarded this gigantic eye sore in the divorce. I ignored it since the minute it became all mine. I didn't want to deal with it. I have had an about face and have come back to live in it, fix it up and flip it. Sadly, I look in the old mirrors that I used to look into and see a woman that looks pretty much the same as I did when I left. The struggle and the weight gain that I had achieved somehow missing in between years. It is heart-breaking to me.
I need to hit the restart button. Again. I am frustrated, struggling, angry with myself. I have started the shake diet only to fail within a couple of days. How in the hell did I do this last time? Where did I find the motivation? Where did I find the mental strength to get through this? Where have I gone? What did I do? Arrrgggghhhhhhh!!! DAMMIT!!
Then, I found my old blog. This blog. I had seriously forgotten about it. I read through it, cried..a lot. Read your comments and cursed myself for leaving you all. Cursed myself for allowing my hard work to just go to hell. Then I found it. I found the motivation in a comment that one of you left for me. "It is yours to have." One of you responded to a blog entry and you quoted me. I had said something worth while...something that had made the slightest difference in your struggle, your fight to drop the weight. This is mine to have. Again. If I want it bad enough, and I do.
So today, I hit the slopes of one of my favorite mountains. Gunstock Mountain Ski Resort. I am going to do a little bit of inner soul-searching. Find the inner demon that has come back to haunt me and leave it somewhere out there on the trail. I'm going to start again tomorrow. How many of you are with me? Will you go on this journey with me again? Tomorrow morning I will step on the scale for the first time in a year and face reality. I will drive to Concord tomorrow and buy shakes and start again.
I know what some of my obstacles are. However, many of them are unknown. I have more going for me this time, I think. I have been running. I can run a 5k without stopping. One of the obstacles is that I am in a new relationship and we enjoy eating & drinking together. He has been a great big sabatoger for me. Funny thing is, that when I met him he was motivation to get into the mountains again. He was motivation to eat healthy and to be healthy. It will be interesting to see what happens when I cut out the eating and drinking and take a hard close look at what remains. When you clean the system out so much of what you have been hiding or refusing to see comes to the surface...hence the divorce I went through last time.
So, tomorrow. Tomorrow it all begins again. I'm ready, but I will need you again. Weigh in tomorrow...oye. REALITY!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
The Perpetual Diet
I've been on my own maintenance plan since my program ended 4 weeks ago. A new program starts up in Jan. I'm really needing something in between. Craving the weekly weigh in. The structure. I'm an odd duck aren't I? I haven't lost or gained anymore weight. I sailed through Thanksgiving. My grandmother actually burst into tears when she saw me. My Aunt tore my coat off as I was screaming, "Easy..its friggin' Banana!" I paid a small child for that coat. I know that I look different. I didn't realize how different. I've lost a total of 56 pounds. I have about 20 more to go.
I've delighted in my structure free environment for the past 4 weeks or so. I've emptied a bag of dark chocolate raisinets. I ate 4 little tiny whoopie pies that landed me in the bathroom for an evening. Remember back when I snuck carrots on my shake diet? Good grief. I'm a serious sinner now.
So, I've been reading about programs close to my home that I could attend. There is a hospital program...but I'm done with the heavy hitting. There is a gym and they have a "biggest losers club." I toyed with that one and the new weight watchers program. The thought of getting yelled at at 6am is not appealing to me yet. I've never been a fan of weight watchers. I kinda agree with the science behind the Atkins plan but lean towards the South Beach approach. Carbs matter. Sorry!! But they do. My body loves low carb. But I know that it is not the healthiest way to live. All things in moderation. Losing weight by eating a steak and lobster dipped in butter is just not ok. Yum. Yum. Yum! For real....YUM! I'm being a bit harsh and extreme on the Atkins crew. I've read the science and I get it. The problem with weight watchers has always been that they didn't account for carbs and protein! Now they do! The points are calculated (somehow) by fat/fiber/protein/carbs. No more calories! A bag of popcorn is no longer only 2 points. It is 4. Bannana's are 0 points! Most fruits and veggies are 0 points. Interesting eh? I thought so. So I totally bit. I signed up for the online weight watchers and started counting points yesterday. I didn't go full throttle and join a class. I'll see how the first week goes. Ease back into the group therapy.
Last night I had 5 points left so I ate 1/4 cup of dark chocolate raisinets. Man those are my achilles heal. I'm only going to do this until I lose the rest of the weight. I would really like to just bang out these last 20 lbs and drink shakes for 4 weeks. I cannot. I have to learn how to eat correctly and lose. Your not supposed to lose all the weight doing shakes. So...weight watchers it is.
By the way...I haven't started P90X yet. I'm a slacker. Next Monday for sure. :)
I've delighted in my structure free environment for the past 4 weeks or so. I've emptied a bag of dark chocolate raisinets. I ate 4 little tiny whoopie pies that landed me in the bathroom for an evening. Remember back when I snuck carrots on my shake diet? Good grief. I'm a serious sinner now.
So, I've been reading about programs close to my home that I could attend. There is a hospital program...but I'm done with the heavy hitting. There is a gym and they have a "biggest losers club." I toyed with that one and the new weight watchers program. The thought of getting yelled at at 6am is not appealing to me yet. I've never been a fan of weight watchers. I kinda agree with the science behind the Atkins plan but lean towards the South Beach approach. Carbs matter. Sorry!! But they do. My body loves low carb. But I know that it is not the healthiest way to live. All things in moderation. Losing weight by eating a steak and lobster dipped in butter is just not ok. Yum. Yum. Yum! For real....YUM! I'm being a bit harsh and extreme on the Atkins crew. I've read the science and I get it. The problem with weight watchers has always been that they didn't account for carbs and protein! Now they do! The points are calculated (somehow) by fat/fiber/protein/carbs. No more calories! A bag of popcorn is no longer only 2 points. It is 4. Bannana's are 0 points! Most fruits and veggies are 0 points. Interesting eh? I thought so. So I totally bit. I signed up for the online weight watchers and started counting points yesterday. I didn't go full throttle and join a class. I'll see how the first week goes. Ease back into the group therapy.
Last night I had 5 points left so I ate 1/4 cup of dark chocolate raisinets. Man those are my achilles heal. I'm only going to do this until I lose the rest of the weight. I would really like to just bang out these last 20 lbs and drink shakes for 4 weeks. I cannot. I have to learn how to eat correctly and lose. Your not supposed to lose all the weight doing shakes. So...weight watchers it is.
By the way...I haven't started P90X yet. I'm a slacker. Next Monday for sure. :)
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
November 23 - Taste Bud Modification
The best thing I ever did for myself was go through a taste bud modification. Before the shake fast (HMR-800) I craved sweets, fatty foods and salty foods. After having nothing but shakes for 12 weeks it reset my taste buds. I literally went through a detox and my body hit the reset button.
I tried sushi for the first time last week and loved it. I now drink coffee black without all the crap in it. It just tastes better. I like dark chocolate. I prefer water over soda. The soda just tastes to0 sweet and salty. I prefer soda water with lemon when out. Its really amazing!!
One of the best justifications for choosing a shake fast is for the behavior modification. How can you have a "lifesytle" change without changing your demons? You cannot fight off salty foods and sugar forever without a full reset. Do it...RESET!
Fearing Thanksgiving? I'm not going to fear it at all. I'm going to embrace it. If I want it, I'm going to eat it. Stop the mental battle. Indulge...indulge slowly. ENJOY it...this indulgance comes once or twice a year. A little bit goes a LONG way. My nutritionist says it takes 20 minutes to feel full. If you stuff your face so quickly that the suction alone takes the food off the plate of the person sitting nearest you...slow down!! Take a bite, sip some water. Try to enjoy it and not just consume it. Have you ever spied on skinny person eating? Try it...they eat so slowly its painful to watch. You could run over take two bites off of their plate and they wouldn't notice. They don't guard their food like a wild animal. They take a bite, chit chat with friends, read a newspaper, get up and go and do something else. This week I'm going to try and eat my meal in 20 minutes.
Oh and I didn't start P90X yesterday. I got up late and the kids missed the damn bus. I'll try again next week. I will start!
I tried sushi for the first time last week and loved it. I now drink coffee black without all the crap in it. It just tastes better. I like dark chocolate. I prefer water over soda. The soda just tastes to0 sweet and salty. I prefer soda water with lemon when out. Its really amazing!!
One of the best justifications for choosing a shake fast is for the behavior modification. How can you have a "lifesytle" change without changing your demons? You cannot fight off salty foods and sugar forever without a full reset. Do it...RESET!
Fearing Thanksgiving? I'm not going to fear it at all. I'm going to embrace it. If I want it, I'm going to eat it. Stop the mental battle. Indulge...indulge slowly. ENJOY it...this indulgance comes once or twice a year. A little bit goes a LONG way. My nutritionist says it takes 20 minutes to feel full. If you stuff your face so quickly that the suction alone takes the food off the plate of the person sitting nearest you...slow down!! Take a bite, sip some water. Try to enjoy it and not just consume it. Have you ever spied on skinny person eating? Try it...they eat so slowly its painful to watch. You could run over take two bites off of their plate and they wouldn't notice. They don't guard their food like a wild animal. They take a bite, chit chat with friends, read a newspaper, get up and go and do something else. This week I'm going to try and eat my meal in 20 minutes.
Oh and I didn't start P90X yesterday. I got up late and the kids missed the damn bus. I'll try again next week. I will start!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
November 21 - Phase 3
I've kept it off for almost a month. I haven't gained a pound. I haven't lost either. I'm ready to head into Phase 3. I'm starting P90X tomorrow to try and tone up. I've got a flabby belly and flabby arms, and breasts that look like ski jumps. It is time to try to get things back in the same place they were awhile ago. I realize that they will most likely never be exactly the same..but I'm hoping a little muscle tone will help them to get up with me in the morning. We shall see. Anyone out there have p90x?? Wanna start with me tomorrow? Its going to kick our asses. But in 90 days we will look amazing!
I remember begging friends and family to do the shake fast with me. No one would do it. Uh-huh..now what are they saying? "I wanna do what you did. You look amazing, so quickly!"
My legs, however, are super toned and gorgeous! All this running has given me killer gams.
I'm eating little meals all day. I've found that mapping out my course for the entire day is essential so that hidden sneak food attacks do not sabotage me. I try to eat every 2 hours. The other day a friend of mine came in with 2 lbs of freshly made fudge. YIKES!!! Thankfully I wasn't ravenous as I'd been sticking to the plan and was able to take a little nibble and move on. Notice I didn't NOT have it. I ate it. I've stopped playing the "you can't have it" mind games. There is nothing that I won't eat..besides FAST FOOD. I'm just not that type of girl anymore. If you are a fast food eater....just sit outside of one of those places in your car for 15 minutes. Notice the clientele. YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. So stop pretending like you are. You know that there are just some things in your life that you will not do. Start saying that about fast food. You are not that kind of girl/boy. I will whip through and get a black coffee. Damn, they are $1 for any size!!! That is it though.
Here is a little sample of what I will eat during the day:
6am: Rise & Shine: Coffee-black
8am: 1 packet of instant oatmeal (High fiber w/brown sugar.)
10am: 2 Cups of Salad with a non-fat dressing
12pm: 1 can of progresso soup and a lean cuisine
2pm: Yogurt
4pm: 2 cups of popcorn with a sprinkle of my favorite butter flavoring.d
6pm: Meal w/family - Portioned out
7pmish: Skinny Cow desert or even weight watchers snack or sugar free jello with whip cream
I try to burn 2500 calories or more a week.
For those of you starting out exercising go and get one of those pedometers. Try to get in 10,000 steps a day. Keeping track of your steps is motivating. You will park further away at the grocery store or work just to get those extra steps in. Take the stairs...all such cliche things to say but they are true.
My daughter is begging me to get off the computer and pay attention to her...so I've got to go. Have a fabulous fresh start this week!! I love Mondays..even though Sunday is the first of the week...its just a great day to start something new.
Till next time!! :)
I remember begging friends and family to do the shake fast with me. No one would do it. Uh-huh..now what are they saying? "I wanna do what you did. You look amazing, so quickly!"
My legs, however, are super toned and gorgeous! All this running has given me killer gams.
I'm eating little meals all day. I've found that mapping out my course for the entire day is essential so that hidden sneak food attacks do not sabotage me. I try to eat every 2 hours. The other day a friend of mine came in with 2 lbs of freshly made fudge. YIKES!!! Thankfully I wasn't ravenous as I'd been sticking to the plan and was able to take a little nibble and move on. Notice I didn't NOT have it. I ate it. I've stopped playing the "you can't have it" mind games. There is nothing that I won't eat..besides FAST FOOD. I'm just not that type of girl anymore. If you are a fast food eater....just sit outside of one of those places in your car for 15 minutes. Notice the clientele. YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE. So stop pretending like you are. You know that there are just some things in your life that you will not do. Start saying that about fast food. You are not that kind of girl/boy. I will whip through and get a black coffee. Damn, they are $1 for any size!!! That is it though.
Here is a little sample of what I will eat during the day:
6am: Rise & Shine: Coffee-black
8am: 1 packet of instant oatmeal (High fiber w/brown sugar.)
10am: 2 Cups of Salad with a non-fat dressing
12pm: 1 can of progresso soup and a lean cuisine
2pm: Yogurt
4pm: 2 cups of popcorn with a sprinkle of my favorite butter flavoring.d
6pm: Meal w/family - Portioned out
7pmish: Skinny Cow desert or even weight watchers snack or sugar free jello with whip cream
I try to burn 2500 calories or more a week.
For those of you starting out exercising go and get one of those pedometers. Try to get in 10,000 steps a day. Keeping track of your steps is motivating. You will park further away at the grocery store or work just to get those extra steps in. Take the stairs...all such cliche things to say but they are true.
My daughter is begging me to get off the computer and pay attention to her...so I've got to go. Have a fabulous fresh start this week!! I love Mondays..even though Sunday is the first of the week...its just a great day to start something new.
Till next time!! :)
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Transition - 3 important clues
I've been in transition for 4 weeks now. I'm doing really well. I've elected not to drop wait at this time and try to maintain my current weight which is 173. So I've lost a total of 55 pounds.
I have been able to maintain with ease.
Clue One: Exercise - I'm still running all the time. Exercise is really the key to success. You have got to find something that you love doing and do it...all the time. For those that hate exercise, I'm sincerely sorry. There is no magic bullet...and I sincerely HATE that friggin' saying. But it is true. If you like walking..walk, 1 hour a day. If you like climbing trees..climb trees! 1 HOUR a day. I take 2 days off from running. Dance, jump on a trampoline, jump rope, chase your kids, play frisbee, join a surfing club...do something. Be creative...get creative. I will tell you there is nothing better than putting on my clothes and feeling really good in them. Getting compliments. Turning heads. Nothing...not chocolate or wine makes you feel better. That is my new high. I feel healthy. My strong runners legs look killer in jeans.
Clue #2 - Let it Go - So..something I want to address for those of you out there doing the all day shake fast. Because I know you probably get an earfull of shit from those who are "concerned" about your method of weightloss. Rock it girls! I've done a million diets and this is the one that got me to where I needed to be and very quickly. I haven't gained a pound back. So for all of those out there that said, "When you start eating you are going to gain it back quickly." It is not true. I mean, if you go hog wild and starting couch surfing and eating bon-bons all the time you will gain it back. If you have been doing your exercise and building lean muscle and boosting your metabolism you are going to continue to burn like crazy. My body still burns. I've had icecream. Not the low-fat kind. I've eaten some of the kids candy. I choose not to make it a big deal. Before I would have told myself, "No!" Then I would begin the cat and mouse game. The candy would call my name again and again and again until I would finally give in. Then when I gave in I would feel like I failed. I'd eat the whole bag with the thought that I'd start again tomorrow. Never again! Never ever again. If I want to eat a butterfinger out of the trick or treat bag. I eat it. I eat it nice and slow and enjoy it and move on. I'm done playing that game with myself. Let it go!
Clue #3 - Eat, keep your metabolism on high! The most important clue that has worked for me is to eat. Eat at least every 3 hours. Your metabolism is like a fire. In order to keep it burning you've got to feed the fire. Eat within 1 hour of getting up. If your doing shakes drink them every 3 hours. Get all your shakes in. Getting your calories in is key to loosing weight. I can't stress that enough. If you try to eat less calories your body will stop burning. You do not want that to happen. You will lose that muscle that is so key to staying thin. Plus muscle looks a lot sexier than blubber when your fitting into those skinny jeans.
So those are the 3 big clues that I have learned in this big meltdown. I still want to drop an additional 13 pounds. But not right now. I'm enjoying this maintenance learning period. This is how I will live the rest of my life. Not on a perpetual diet. But being the happiest I've been in many many years. You can have this too. It is not as hard as you think. It is yours to have. Believe me..I'm not some sort of extra ordinary after-school special. You can do it. I'm here to help you if you need it!
I have been able to maintain with ease.
Clue One: Exercise - I'm still running all the time. Exercise is really the key to success. You have got to find something that you love doing and do it...all the time. For those that hate exercise, I'm sincerely sorry. There is no magic bullet...and I sincerely HATE that friggin' saying. But it is true. If you like walking..walk, 1 hour a day. If you like climbing trees..climb trees! 1 HOUR a day. I take 2 days off from running. Dance, jump on a trampoline, jump rope, chase your kids, play frisbee, join a surfing club...do something. Be creative...get creative. I will tell you there is nothing better than putting on my clothes and feeling really good in them. Getting compliments. Turning heads. Nothing...not chocolate or wine makes you feel better. That is my new high. I feel healthy. My strong runners legs look killer in jeans.
Clue #2 - Let it Go - So..something I want to address for those of you out there doing the all day shake fast. Because I know you probably get an earfull of shit from those who are "concerned" about your method of weightloss. Rock it girls! I've done a million diets and this is the one that got me to where I needed to be and very quickly. I haven't gained a pound back. So for all of those out there that said, "When you start eating you are going to gain it back quickly." It is not true. I mean, if you go hog wild and starting couch surfing and eating bon-bons all the time you will gain it back. If you have been doing your exercise and building lean muscle and boosting your metabolism you are going to continue to burn like crazy. My body still burns. I've had icecream. Not the low-fat kind. I've eaten some of the kids candy. I choose not to make it a big deal. Before I would have told myself, "No!" Then I would begin the cat and mouse game. The candy would call my name again and again and again until I would finally give in. Then when I gave in I would feel like I failed. I'd eat the whole bag with the thought that I'd start again tomorrow. Never again! Never ever again. If I want to eat a butterfinger out of the trick or treat bag. I eat it. I eat it nice and slow and enjoy it and move on. I'm done playing that game with myself. Let it go!
Clue #3 - Eat, keep your metabolism on high! The most important clue that has worked for me is to eat. Eat at least every 3 hours. Your metabolism is like a fire. In order to keep it burning you've got to feed the fire. Eat within 1 hour of getting up. If your doing shakes drink them every 3 hours. Get all your shakes in. Getting your calories in is key to loosing weight. I can't stress that enough. If you try to eat less calories your body will stop burning. You do not want that to happen. You will lose that muscle that is so key to staying thin. Plus muscle looks a lot sexier than blubber when your fitting into those skinny jeans.
So those are the 3 big clues that I have learned in this big meltdown. I still want to drop an additional 13 pounds. But not right now. I'm enjoying this maintenance learning period. This is how I will live the rest of my life. Not on a perpetual diet. But being the happiest I've been in many many years. You can have this too. It is not as hard as you think. It is yours to have. Believe me..I'm not some sort of extra ordinary after-school special. You can do it. I'm here to help you if you need it!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Day ? - Still Here!
I've lost track.....
I've been in transition for over a week now. I haven't lost weight but I have maintained. I'm doing the shakes all day and eating a meal at night. I have been naughty at meal times. Which, is why I'm probably staying the same weight. I'm ok with that right now.
Ran 9 miles today! Felt like a million bucks.
How are you all doing out there? I could use some inspiration to get over the hump!!
I've been in transition for over a week now. I haven't lost weight but I have maintained. I'm doing the shakes all day and eating a meal at night. I have been naughty at meal times. Which, is why I'm probably staying the same weight. I'm ok with that right now.
Ran 9 miles today! Felt like a million bucks.
How are you all doing out there? I could use some inspiration to get over the hump!!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Day 77 - Ready to Transition
I'm so ready. Overly ready to transition. I want to eat eat eat food. I cheated and had some pickels. I haven't lost since last week. I have maintained. Which is good. I'm busted my ass in exercise to try and compensate for the eating fest I've been on. Ok..so I've eaten more than pickels. Tonight I had a salad and a bowl of shrimp wonton soup. A very small bit of calories...and I ate a few pieces of the meatballs I put into the spagetti dinner I made my family. I just want to be eating again.
I feel really strong in my body though. At yoga tonight I felt very strong. Yesterday I ran 6.5 miles and it was a hard run. I didn't feel achy or tired after. Maybe I'm finally coming into my exercise after 77 days of dieting?
So at this current place in time...I'm doing shakes all day except for my evening meal. I could live like this for awhile. I'm in a holding pattern with my weight as well. Not sure why...plateau perhaps. I mean, 600 calories during the day in shakes and then maybe 400 at night is still not alot. I should still be losing.
I'm in a good place mentally even though I've cheated. I thought the guilt would be a lot stronger, but its not. I believe I'm ready for the next stage of my transition. I need to learn how to eat food again and lose weight. I have 20+ to go. I've come a long way baby!! Starting at 228 pounds. Seems like forever ago. I'm not going back. I'm A FINE WINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel really strong in my body though. At yoga tonight I felt very strong. Yesterday I ran 6.5 miles and it was a hard run. I didn't feel achy or tired after. Maybe I'm finally coming into my exercise after 77 days of dieting?
So at this current place in time...I'm doing shakes all day except for my evening meal. I could live like this for awhile. I'm in a holding pattern with my weight as well. Not sure why...plateau perhaps. I mean, 600 calories during the day in shakes and then maybe 400 at night is still not alot. I should still be losing.
I'm in a good place mentally even though I've cheated. I thought the guilt would be a lot stronger, but its not. I believe I'm ready for the next stage of my transition. I need to learn how to eat food again and lose weight. I have 20+ to go. I've come a long way baby!! Starting at 228 pounds. Seems like forever ago. I'm not going back. I'm A FINE WINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Day 69 - Feeling Fine!
It was just a tough couple of days. I'm back on track. It wasn't easy to push myself through that difficult time. But it did come to an end. I've run 3 days in a row. I feel great again. The scale is starting to move again which is always an incentive.
At the end of this month I will start to transition. I will transition when I have 20 pounds left to lose until I hit my goal. This is important because I need to learn how to lose while eating food. I'm starting to wrap my head around this. 26 days to go. I've got this!
At the end of this month I will start to transition. I will transition when I have 20 pounds left to lose until I hit my goal. This is important because I need to learn how to lose while eating food. I'm starting to wrap my head around this. 26 days to go. I've got this!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Day 67 - Treading Water
Ok...I confess I'm getting tired of this. I ate 6 carrots out of the pot roast the other day. I cannot give up! I cannot sabatoge myself. IT IS REALLY HARD RIGHT NOW. I feel good, I look in the mirror and I like what I see. Everyone is telling me how thin I am....and I just want to eat. I want to eat like a normal person.
This too shall pass. I know it will pass. It is a hurdle that has crept up in my way and I will leap over it. Right? I always find a way to leap over these hurdles. Ugh. Yes, the overly enthusiastic, exercising crazy women is lying face down on the floor. I'm beat. Spent. We all reach these walls. Will I get over it and move on? Or will I sneak out to the fridge tonight and eat all the alfredo while everyone is sleeping? Where is my self-control?
I did go running this morning. First time in 7 days. It was a strange out of body experience. I have got to get it together.....
This too shall pass. I know it will pass. It is a hurdle that has crept up in my way and I will leap over it. Right? I always find a way to leap over these hurdles. Ugh. Yes, the overly enthusiastic, exercising crazy women is lying face down on the floor. I'm beat. Spent. We all reach these walls. Will I get over it and move on? Or will I sneak out to the fridge tonight and eat all the alfredo while everyone is sleeping? Where is my self-control?
I did go running this morning. First time in 7 days. It was a strange out of body experience. I have got to get it together.....
Friday, October 1, 2010
Day 65 - New Month - New Me
Its October. Over here on the East Coast the leaves are changing. The air is cool and crisp. The mornings and evenings are darker. The apples are heavy on the trees. It is my favorite time of year. The hint of family gatherings, vacations, snow forts, and christmas lights lingers on the horizon. It is so great to be alive isn't it?
STRESS galore this week. We moved our printing company this past weekend only to have to move it AGAIN tomorrow. I keep closing my eyes and trying to do that belly breathing we learned in class the other day. But, fortunately for me stress is not an eating trigger.
I've seriously let my exercise slide. Which is a trigger for me. Failure is a trigger for me. I'm an all or nothing sort of person. If I cheat in my mind I have failed and the food eating onslaught begins. If I stop exercising, I have failed and sloth like behavior gets control over my ass and parks it. I'm fighting that right now. I did go to yoga the other night and I felt stronger than I thought I would. I hadn't lost anything at all. I was going to get up and run today but I didn't. I slept in. I feel guilt for letting myself down. Maybe I can steal away for an hour today and run in my new neighborhood. Send all of the exercise fairies my way......I need to get over this feeling of failure and be ok with a little down time. Cause I know its ok....but I'm a task master and especially hard on myself. I haven't failed I've wandered for a bit with a move and a head cold.
Weigh in last night...down 4 lbs. Even without the "structured exercise." My PA calories this week were only 1500. I typically have 3600 or more. I did move this past weekend and I'm sure that burned some serious calories.
My size 14's are starting to get loose and the nurse in my program told me last night that I needed to go bra shopping. I have lost 6 inches around my chest. 7 inches on my wasit and 11 on my hips. I haven't gotten myself any new clothes except for yoga pants and shirts and couple of sports bras.
I've discovered a love for cooking. I have never ever liked cooking at all. I'm thinking that because its a connection with food. I get to hold it, smell it, and try to make something yummy for my family. I really enjoy putting together all the ingrediants and then serving them and watching them eat it. I wonder if this new found fascination will last once I start to transition.
I also like to keep busy. No downtime for me. Boredom is my biggest trigger. I've got to plan for downtimes. Find a hobby. I've never had a hobby. I've always had a hard time filling out those questions on social networking sites about what I like to do. I typically put down something lame like reading. I have never had something that I do to enjoy myself. Maybe gardening in the spring? What the hell else can I do? I'm not a crafter. I don't have the patience for sewing or knitting or anything like that. What can I do once I've cleaned my house a hundred times and cooked dinner? I've got to find something.
Kids to the bus!! Yikes!
STRESS galore this week. We moved our printing company this past weekend only to have to move it AGAIN tomorrow. I keep closing my eyes and trying to do that belly breathing we learned in class the other day. But, fortunately for me stress is not an eating trigger.
I've seriously let my exercise slide. Which is a trigger for me. Failure is a trigger for me. I'm an all or nothing sort of person. If I cheat in my mind I have failed and the food eating onslaught begins. If I stop exercising, I have failed and sloth like behavior gets control over my ass and parks it. I'm fighting that right now. I did go to yoga the other night and I felt stronger than I thought I would. I hadn't lost anything at all. I was going to get up and run today but I didn't. I slept in. I feel guilt for letting myself down. Maybe I can steal away for an hour today and run in my new neighborhood. Send all of the exercise fairies my way......I need to get over this feeling of failure and be ok with a little down time. Cause I know its ok....but I'm a task master and especially hard on myself. I haven't failed I've wandered for a bit with a move and a head cold.
Weigh in last night...down 4 lbs. Even without the "structured exercise." My PA calories this week were only 1500. I typically have 3600 or more. I did move this past weekend and I'm sure that burned some serious calories.
My size 14's are starting to get loose and the nurse in my program told me last night that I needed to go bra shopping. I have lost 6 inches around my chest. 7 inches on my wasit and 11 on my hips. I haven't gotten myself any new clothes except for yoga pants and shirts and couple of sports bras.
I've discovered a love for cooking. I have never ever liked cooking at all. I'm thinking that because its a connection with food. I get to hold it, smell it, and try to make something yummy for my family. I really enjoy putting together all the ingrediants and then serving them and watching them eat it. I wonder if this new found fascination will last once I start to transition.
I also like to keep busy. No downtime for me. Boredom is my biggest trigger. I've got to plan for downtimes. Find a hobby. I've never had a hobby. I've always had a hard time filling out those questions on social networking sites about what I like to do. I typically put down something lame like reading. I have never had something that I do to enjoy myself. Maybe gardening in the spring? What the hell else can I do? I'm not a crafter. I don't have the patience for sewing or knitting or anything like that. What can I do once I've cleaned my house a hundred times and cooked dinner? I've got to find something.
Kids to the bus!! Yikes!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Day 63 - Exhausted!
My husband and I moved our business and our home over the weekend. It has derailed me. I have NOT eaten any food. I just haven't run since I ran the 5K on Saturday. I haven't been to Zumba or Yoga. To top it all off I have this abnoxious head cold. Oh man, its a doozy.
I have noticed that I hang up the things I enjoy in times of stress. I'm stressed. I'm not sure I have mentioned this before, but I don't stress easy. I'm not a "stress eater." I'm a bored eater. I'm a reward eater. During this stressful time I've found it more difficult then ever to remind myself to get all of my calories in. I really feel like I can't let myself enjoy the things I was doing until I'm over these hurdles. I'm going to call it being really focused. Just like when I'm in the zone dieting...focused. I need to figure out how to find balance. I know that when I'm out running I have really clear thoughts. It is helpful to run when there is a problem. Your mind goes to a different place. I'm going to really try to get to yoga tonight for myself. Leave all of my issues, stress, and problems at the door.....
I have noticed that I hang up the things I enjoy in times of stress. I'm stressed. I'm not sure I have mentioned this before, but I don't stress easy. I'm not a "stress eater." I'm a bored eater. I'm a reward eater. During this stressful time I've found it more difficult then ever to remind myself to get all of my calories in. I really feel like I can't let myself enjoy the things I was doing until I'm over these hurdles. I'm going to call it being really focused. Just like when I'm in the zone dieting...focused. I need to figure out how to find balance. I know that when I'm out running I have really clear thoughts. It is helpful to run when there is a problem. Your mind goes to a different place. I'm going to really try to get to yoga tonight for myself. Leave all of my issues, stress, and problems at the door.....
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Day 57 - Out of the 190's
I've hit 188. A total of 40 pounds! I still expect to wake up and have the entire weight loss a dream. I lost 4.7 pounds this week. I've officially moved out of the obese category into the overweight category. I have never been so happy to be overweight in my life. I will never be obese again.
I'm afraid. The amigos say I should start transitioning to food when I hit the 170's. That would be a couple of weeks. I'm not ready!!! I can imagine what you are thinking. I haven't had food in 57 days and you would think I would want to eat. Food is my drug of choice. Imagine giving an alcoholic a beer and telling him that one is enough. I'm afraid that I won't be able to stop. I'm afraid I'm not mentally ready yet. It has only been since August that I've been losing. I'm so scared to fail. I'm afraid to be in that 95%.
I'm afraid. The amigos say I should start transitioning to food when I hit the 170's. That would be a couple of weeks. I'm not ready!!! I can imagine what you are thinking. I haven't had food in 57 days and you would think I would want to eat. Food is my drug of choice. Imagine giving an alcoholic a beer and telling him that one is enough. I'm afraid that I won't be able to stop. I'm afraid I'm not mentally ready yet. It has only been since August that I've been losing. I'm so scared to fail. I'm afraid to be in that 95%.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Day 54 - Happy Birthday to Me!
Happy Birthday to me! 34 years old today. The best gift I have given myself is to lose 38 pounds so far. Today I hit the 190 mark. I officially have 40 pounds left to lose. I'm over the 1/2 way hurdle. I've asked that my family not have any sort of party for me. No cake, no icecream, no food in my face that I cannot eat. Its ok! Honest.
On Sunday I ran in my first 10k race. 6.2 miles! I ran it in 1 hour and 8 minutes. Beating 211 other people. I absolutely LOVE saying that as it sounds really really impressive. There were over 1400 people in the race. So, I'm not the fastest runner...not by a long stretch. But I ran the whole damn thing and I didn't come in last. You have to have goals! Maybe next year I will run proudly next to my sister who ran the thing brilliantly. I was very happy to see my Dad and his girlfriend show up to cheer us on along the trail and at the end. It meant more to me than I can put words too.
Did yoga last night. It slapped me in the ass and then handed it to me on a silver plate. Ouch...it was brutal! I just keep thinking if I an stengthen up my abs all the rest will fall into place. You know the ol' "core" song and dance. I think maybe there is something to that. I will find out.
I'm ready to head out the door for a quick 3.1 mile run. Nice and easy. For the first time I'm mourning the loss of my warm summer runs...I have long pants and a long shirt on. All black too I think...although it is still dark out and I can't really see what I'm wearing! Oh well...
On Sunday I ran in my first 10k race. 6.2 miles! I ran it in 1 hour and 8 minutes. Beating 211 other people. I absolutely LOVE saying that as it sounds really really impressive. There were over 1400 people in the race. So, I'm not the fastest runner...not by a long stretch. But I ran the whole damn thing and I didn't come in last. You have to have goals! Maybe next year I will run proudly next to my sister who ran the thing brilliantly. I was very happy to see my Dad and his girlfriend show up to cheer us on along the trail and at the end. It meant more to me than I can put words too.
Did yoga last night. It slapped me in the ass and then handed it to me on a silver plate. Ouch...it was brutal! I just keep thinking if I an stengthen up my abs all the rest will fall into place. You know the ol' "core" song and dance. I think maybe there is something to that. I will find out.
I'm ready to head out the door for a quick 3.1 mile run. Nice and easy. For the first time I'm mourning the loss of my warm summer runs...I have long pants and a long shirt on. All black too I think...although it is still dark out and I can't really see what I'm wearing! Oh well...
Friday, September 17, 2010
Day 50 - A slow down.
This week at weigh in I only dropped 3.7 pounds. I know, I know it is still good yaddy yada. I heard it from the 3 amigos too. But it is the least I've lost in the past 7 weeks of butt busting. I burned 3600 calories this week. More than last week. My theory...as I always have a theory...is that this is the first week up here in New Hampshire that we have had some really cool weather. It was 41 degrees yesterday when I went for my run. Brrr!! I think my body is saying,"Winter...need to keep the fat!" I suggested my theory to the nutritionist and she agreed with me. That it was a rough week for everyone in my class. So it goes.
I've been thinking a little bit more about "The Voice." I did have, a few posts back, a fight with the voice over wether or not to live up to a deal I had made with myself. Is this an eternal hiccup that I will forever deal with? A recording that continously plays again and again that I'm not deserving of a reward? Um....no. I'm simply a very sensible person. I'm not a big splurger. When I told myself that it was $300 I could use elsewhere, I could. I have to learn that making a deal with myself is just as important as making a deal with someone else. I cannot let myself out of it. I do not believe that some internal hijacking mischeif maker is waiting to pounce on every positive thought and squash it like a bug. I just don't. I will not divide myself up into pieces or people or old thoughts.
I read about people fighting with themselves or "inner voices" in the weight loss forums. I listended to it in class last night. I just want to scream! Its just another way of pointing the finger at someone other than yourself. Of not taking responsibility for these thoughts! Oh sure, its someone elses fault we think this way. Its "the voice." (Key dramatic music.) I am done with the voice. I ran without my Ipod the other day to try and discover what "the voice" was saying to me. It kept telling me that I definately needed to keep losing weight as I could feel my rearend bouncing dutifully behind me as I jogged up the path. It told me that I needed to remember to chew gum because I could smell my own coffee breath as I was gasping for air on the way back down the trail. It told me to get new shoes because my toes are starting to stick out of the tops of my favorite sneakers. Oh good grief. I mean honestly! Enough already.
I've been thinking a little bit more about "The Voice." I did have, a few posts back, a fight with the voice over wether or not to live up to a deal I had made with myself. Is this an eternal hiccup that I will forever deal with? A recording that continously plays again and again that I'm not deserving of a reward? Um....no. I'm simply a very sensible person. I'm not a big splurger. When I told myself that it was $300 I could use elsewhere, I could. I have to learn that making a deal with myself is just as important as making a deal with someone else. I cannot let myself out of it. I do not believe that some internal hijacking mischeif maker is waiting to pounce on every positive thought and squash it like a bug. I just don't. I will not divide myself up into pieces or people or old thoughts.
I read about people fighting with themselves or "inner voices" in the weight loss forums. I listended to it in class last night. I just want to scream! Its just another way of pointing the finger at someone other than yourself. Of not taking responsibility for these thoughts! Oh sure, its someone elses fault we think this way. Its "the voice." (Key dramatic music.) I am done with the voice. I ran without my Ipod the other day to try and discover what "the voice" was saying to me. It kept telling me that I definately needed to keep losing weight as I could feel my rearend bouncing dutifully behind me as I jogged up the path. It told me that I needed to remember to chew gum because I could smell my own coffee breath as I was gasping for air on the way back down the trail. It told me to get new shoes because my toes are starting to stick out of the tops of my favorite sneakers. Oh good grief. I mean honestly! Enough already.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
A Quick Note....
Thank you to my very first follower. All of these days of blogging and I've wondered, "Is anyone even paying attention?" Now I have an answer. Even if its just me and you throughout this journey...it is worth it. Cause you are listening. Thank you!
Day 48 - Split Personality
I'm reading Geneen Ross "Women, Food and God." I have to tell you it has been hard for me to get through. A lot of my friends have LOVED It and gone crazy over it. I'm not sure she is describing me in this book.
Right now I'm reading about "The Voice." This awful demeaning voice in your head that tries to sabotage anything great. I'm not sure about this voice phenomenon. I do talk to myself. I have an inner dialogue all the time. I just did for a second when I lifted up my coffee cup and started to put it down and my voice said, "No, just one more sip." So I drank another sip. Not sure I really believe that it is some sort of bad guy living in my brain or a bunch of mean relatives and horrible people that I have encountered throughout my life who put me down. I'm not sure anyone who was mean to me was that important that I carry their messages around with me forever. I'm having a hard time buying it. I do not think I have a multiple personality. Good cop bad cop living in my head. I think I fight off my inner self wanting to be lazy and just sit around doing nothing...but I cannot imagine a "voice" that is a manifestation of all things bad from my past ruling my life. Sorry.....not a split personality. I'm not looking to blame my issues on some inner voice. It is me folks! When my legs where fat they were fat. My "voice" was not wrong. When I was being lazy I was being lazy. My voice was not wrong! Just me seeing the truth and trying to get me motivated to do something about it. Why do all of these self-help books have to try and dig out these weird idiosyncrasies? Why does it have to be some big psychological struggle? Some excavation of the past? Who can I point the finger at now? Which one of my family members did me wrong? So wrong that you continue to hang out in my brain and wreak havoc on my daily activities? Good grief. I have a little bit more control over myself than that. I'm in control, not the ghosts of Christmas past. Oy!
Right now I'm reading about "The Voice." This awful demeaning voice in your head that tries to sabotage anything great. I'm not sure about this voice phenomenon. I do talk to myself. I have an inner dialogue all the time. I just did for a second when I lifted up my coffee cup and started to put it down and my voice said, "No, just one more sip." So I drank another sip. Not sure I really believe that it is some sort of bad guy living in my brain or a bunch of mean relatives and horrible people that I have encountered throughout my life who put me down. I'm not sure anyone who was mean to me was that important that I carry their messages around with me forever. I'm having a hard time buying it. I do not think I have a multiple personality. Good cop bad cop living in my head. I think I fight off my inner self wanting to be lazy and just sit around doing nothing...but I cannot imagine a "voice" that is a manifestation of all things bad from my past ruling my life. Sorry.....not a split personality. I'm not looking to blame my issues on some inner voice. It is me folks! When my legs where fat they were fat. My "voice" was not wrong. When I was being lazy I was being lazy. My voice was not wrong! Just me seeing the truth and trying to get me motivated to do something about it. Why do all of these self-help books have to try and dig out these weird idiosyncrasies? Why does it have to be some big psychological struggle? Some excavation of the past? Who can I point the finger at now? Which one of my family members did me wrong? So wrong that you continue to hang out in my brain and wreak havoc on my daily activities? Good grief. I have a little bit more control over myself than that. I'm in control, not the ghosts of Christmas past. Oy!
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Day 45 - The Start of Something Special.
I've been focusing hard on what I'm going to do when I am no longer "dieting." I've heard a lot of people say that they do not focus on the end they are focused on the losing part of it and will worry about the maintenance when the time comes. I cannot tell you how wrong I think that is.
I'm making a plan. 95% of people who lose weight will gain it back. I fully intend on being one of the 5%. I'm going to start a very exclusive club for those of us in maintenance. It will be called, "The Fine Wine -5% club." Not having anything to do with alcohol. It has to do with the vines that the grapes grow on. I've blogged about this before. That the best wines come from vines that have struggled. Those vines literally struggle for survival. The fight for sun, for food, for water. Because of their struggle the grapes are more complex, sweeter, and make better wine.
I think that a lot of us spend so much time digging through our pasts...constantly bringing it back up all the time. Pusing it away by eating it! I think it is time for us to STOP! To embrace our pasts...our struggles. It is those struggles that have made us A FINE WINE. It is going to be part of my maintenance plan to love who I am. Love what I've been through so that it doesn't continue to surface and cause me stress and anxiety. Its all ok! I love who I am. I'm a FINE WINE.
I have 45 pounds to go until I launch the start of this club. We are going to do some really amazing things! More to come!
I'm making a plan. 95% of people who lose weight will gain it back. I fully intend on being one of the 5%. I'm going to start a very exclusive club for those of us in maintenance. It will be called, "The Fine Wine -5% club." Not having anything to do with alcohol. It has to do with the vines that the grapes grow on. I've blogged about this before. That the best wines come from vines that have struggled. Those vines literally struggle for survival. The fight for sun, for food, for water. Because of their struggle the grapes are more complex, sweeter, and make better wine.
I think that a lot of us spend so much time digging through our pasts...constantly bringing it back up all the time. Pusing it away by eating it! I think it is time for us to STOP! To embrace our pasts...our struggles. It is those struggles that have made us A FINE WINE. It is going to be part of my maintenance plan to love who I am. Love what I've been through so that it doesn't continue to surface and cause me stress and anxiety. Its all ok! I love who I am. I'm a FINE WINE.
I have 45 pounds to go until I launch the start of this club. We are going to do some really amazing things! More to come!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Day 42 - Huge Milestone!
I am officially under 200 pounds!!! 197 to be exact. 31 pounds down....
I needed to hit this milestone. I've been dragging lately. After my weekend of full on family assault I've been fighting off my food demons. All of my family got together for Labor Day weekend. One of my triggers is carrying other peoples burdens. After listening to problem after problem, I felt heavy. I wanted to eat badly. I watched them all move from one meal to the next. If it wasn't food it was alcohol. Everyone putting things in their mouth. Moving from one location to the next to sit and snack, drink, and go on and on about problems problems and more problems. No one really did anything else. Sure there were a few rides up and down on the camp road on the four-wheeler. My sister and I went for a 4 mile walk which was the highlight of my 2 days. I love my family. I love my family very very much. It was just very difficult to face my triggers and battle against them.
Today after seeing the scale and going for a nice long run I feel back in the groove. After 3 days of decompressing from the family affair, I'm finally feeling better again.
I've also been trying new types of exercise. Last night I did Yoga! I never thought I would like it. I thought it would be breathing and stretching. It was so much more than that. I was sweating bullets. My muscles were so worked. It was great strength training without having to life weights and also a great great stretching and breathing class. I needed it. It felt great.
I have to tell you that on several occasions I almost left the gym last night. I'm not a very social person. I'm uncomfortable meeting new people. Often I'm written off as a snob. I'm not a snob, just really shy. I don't like trying new things. It is very hard for me. I had to force myself to stay and try out this class. I'm glad that I did. I'm going to go twice a week! It was that incredible.
I still have not eaten food. I have no desire to do so. There is not a food out there that would taste as good as I feel right now losing weight. Which also scares me. What happens when I stop losing? I have to change up my mind..the real game is going to begin when I stop losing. The game of keep away. Keep off the weight. That will be the biggest challenge.
All of my clothes are starting to get really baggy! I FRIGGIN' LOVE IT! It has all happened so fast that I still expect to wake up and find myself back at 228 pounds. I don't know how many dreams I've had that I actually lose the weight. But, I never have. It is all very dream like. I completely encourage anyone to try it! 42 days = 31 pounds. Not as hard as you think and there is nothing like starting to look pretty in the mirror again.
I needed to hit this milestone. I've been dragging lately. After my weekend of full on family assault I've been fighting off my food demons. All of my family got together for Labor Day weekend. One of my triggers is carrying other peoples burdens. After listening to problem after problem, I felt heavy. I wanted to eat badly. I watched them all move from one meal to the next. If it wasn't food it was alcohol. Everyone putting things in their mouth. Moving from one location to the next to sit and snack, drink, and go on and on about problems problems and more problems. No one really did anything else. Sure there were a few rides up and down on the camp road on the four-wheeler. My sister and I went for a 4 mile walk which was the highlight of my 2 days. I love my family. I love my family very very much. It was just very difficult to face my triggers and battle against them.
Today after seeing the scale and going for a nice long run I feel back in the groove. After 3 days of decompressing from the family affair, I'm finally feeling better again.
I've also been trying new types of exercise. Last night I did Yoga! I never thought I would like it. I thought it would be breathing and stretching. It was so much more than that. I was sweating bullets. My muscles were so worked. It was great strength training without having to life weights and also a great great stretching and breathing class. I needed it. It felt great.
I have to tell you that on several occasions I almost left the gym last night. I'm not a very social person. I'm uncomfortable meeting new people. Often I'm written off as a snob. I'm not a snob, just really shy. I don't like trying new things. It is very hard for me. I had to force myself to stay and try out this class. I'm glad that I did. I'm going to go twice a week! It was that incredible.
I still have not eaten food. I have no desire to do so. There is not a food out there that would taste as good as I feel right now losing weight. Which also scares me. What happens when I stop losing? I have to change up my mind..the real game is going to begin when I stop losing. The game of keep away. Keep off the weight. That will be the biggest challenge.
All of my clothes are starting to get really baggy! I FRIGGIN' LOVE IT! It has all happened so fast that I still expect to wake up and find myself back at 228 pounds. I don't know how many dreams I've had that I actually lose the weight. But, I never have. It is all very dream like. I completely encourage anyone to try it! 42 days = 31 pounds. Not as hard as you think and there is nothing like starting to look pretty in the mirror again.
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